Just Me 040

Just Me

Looking back at myself
I found it surprising really
the things that I did
things I did not do

it all came to me
there was some regret
but there was also joy
yet I am far from happy

my smile was still shallow
my heart was longing for love
my brain was always somewhere
my body just sloth around

I was like myself
haven’t changed a single bit
I didn’t care what was what
nor I what interested in anything

things that caught my interest
flew away in a fleeting moment
things that I really hate
come back to haunt me regularly

I felt living for the sake of living
a process in a never ending cycle
for the continuation of the next generation
dying to live only living to die

I only yearn for the special something
that would mesmerized me eternally
for as long as I lived
i will be entrenched to it

like a firefly to a firelight
I too would be blind by its awe
desperately drawing it to the core
until it finally engulfed and consumed me

after all I have yet to feel being really alive
but I haven’t given up the slim hope.
it would be a fitting end to a person like me
by being just me and that light for eternity.