The Hesitation 028

The Hesitation

if for a moment i hesitate
it would be because of you
such is the force you gave
there is no deny in me
no matter the reasons
the taint of you resides

whether i purposely chose to
or subconciously did it
the fact of you remains
in the heart of mine
a part of me i couldn't repel
forgive me i am helpless

to the one who fill my void
understand this part of me
my hesitation of me in expressing
wasn't the fact i did not otherwise
but because of the taint that remains
forgive me i am not whole

a small part of me belongs to another
that you that has taught me
the pain of growing up
the despair of my own self
for falling in comfort of you
forgive me please.....

as much i try to stop it
it eventually enveloped me
the taint wont stop till i am gone
but i try my best to hold it
not letting affect what would become
forgive me the best you could

all other of me i will gave u
except the part i hesitate
please understand this much
please forgive me this much
i am but a human afterall
one who doesnt let the last remaining go.