The Hesitation 028

The Hesitation

if for a moment i hesitate
it would be because of you
such is the force you gave
there is no deny in me
no matter the reasons
the taint of you resides

whether i purposely chose to
or subconciously did it
the fact of you remains
in the heart of mine
a part of me i couldn't repel
forgive me i am helpless

to the one who fill my void
understand this part of me
my hesitation of me in expressing
wasn't the fact i did not otherwise
but because of the taint that remains
forgive me i am not whole

a small part of me belongs to another
that you that has taught me
the pain of growing up
the despair of my own self
for falling in comfort of you
forgive me please.....

as much i try to stop it
it eventually enveloped me
the taint wont stop till i am gone
but i try my best to hold it
not letting affect what would become
forgive me the best you could

all other of me i will gave u
except the part i hesitate
please understand this much
please forgive me this much
i am but a human afterall
one who doesnt let the last remaining go.

My Love Stop here 027

My Love Stop here

today, my love for you
truly stop here and then
the pain and agony you cause me
i wish i could forget it all
but i truly can't do anything

the more i fall for you
the greater my love for you
the deeper my pain becomes
like an overwhelming agony
surging through my entire body

it has become so unbearable
that i felt like tortured soul
repeating the same question
till my head hurts so bad
and my eyes watered heavily
that cruelty that befall me

the sorrow that enveloped me
from the devastating truth of your heart
i could bear no more of it
was it destined that i have to fall this much
or what it retribution that i fall for you

what have i truly done in all
to deserve such cruel fate to befall me
to make me fallen so deep for you
only to realised i can't have your heart
and the way you treated me in the end

all the path that was intended for me
i couldn't gathered strength to walk them
your took away my every strength to do so
i lost interest in everything i done
all that left was the longing for you

this pain, you could never imagine it
i doubt you would care a single bit
while you enjoy blissful moment with him
i am left to be tortured by your sight
may the god take my soul away

that is why to live on from this ordeal
to repay those who had put faith in me
to those that love me so much for who i am
i have to stop loving you for good
its the only way i could be myself again
to love you this far was my greatest regret

thus this is truly goodbye from me to you
those sweet moments and bitter end
i will forget all of it.....
i have no regret for i want to live
for its time to repay the creator
for his love bear no ends
my love stopped here for you.
truly,madly, deeply goodbye.