From Inside Out

http://lohrene-frominsideout.blogspot.com/

A new blog to document what really i am truly thinking, i promise to spare no tact or courtesy so enter at your cause because there wont be any enjoyment you be seeking. Merely what i am when i am truly at my most pensive moments in life.

What truly love is 066

What truly love is 066

The Awaken has grown up
Today marks an end
to this wonderful set of 66 poems
thus i will end with a bang
something to consider in future ahead

In the last 2 years i have gain happiness
beyond what i could hope for
i have seen the goodness in my life
i have experience joy with you

Yet i have also suffer pain
frustrating and all the things bad
that dwells in a relationship
yet i have no regrets

i think this time i truly understand
what love is even though we are apart
even though we walk separate ways
even though we still see each other occasionally

i understand we are couple no more
its hard coming to term but it happen
whether good or bad
whether screaming or awkwardness

my time with you
however short and brief
i finally understand what i truly want
i want you in my life

not that i am hoping we back together
but i truly love you with all my heart
but i guess there was alot between us
but it is okay, i understand

my heart i already given them to you
even if i never have them back again
i will be satisfied with that
even if one day you are married

i am okay because i truly love you
i don't think it ever cross my mind
but i couldn't think another
that i want to spend entire life with

my hope in making you mine will never die
but i will be a man before that
i wont stay a kid no more
my hearts yearn for you eternally

this may sounds foresighted and shallow minded
but when a man truly loves the only one
nothing ever is good enough for him
they are merely substitute not your replacement

they can never replace you
nor they can take my heart away
oh my heart is already yours
it does not matter how you feel

even if it remains unrequited love
i am happy with that
cause i have no regrets
in loving you for life

it doesnt matter what the world say
or there is many more women out there
my love for you refuse to die
cause my hearts belongs to you

i am not foolish
nor i am emotional
i am calm and at peace
with myself

who would have thought
that i would love you so much
a girl with adorable freckles
a mole on your nose

i am capture by your personality
the smiles of yours that melt hearts
if i have to go through hell to get you back
i will gladly rush into it with glee

even if love me no more
even if hate me each day
even if you dont care anymore
its okay my love for you never dies

foolish you say
but that is what i have decided
you be the last i ever fall in love with
cause you are the only one for me

i wish i was a man when i met you
but i was a kid when we are together
i know now i will be a man
and exceptional one

i hope god guides me
and help me to be a man
a man of god
and hope you see that in me

even if you miss it
it will be okay with me
what god gives, he can take away
but my love for you never sway

foolish or not
it doesn't matter to me
it is worth it
even if i never see you again

if my life is solitude
then let it be
but i will be happy
knowing that i love you forever

even though i will be lonely
even though i may not see you
or know anything about you anymore
i am content cause i love you

you once said i say too much
of i love you
cause i am afraid i will no chance
when the time comes

i said because i meant it
i said because i don't want to regret
i said because i want to
i said because i truly love you

i just wanna put a smile on your face
i wanna make you happy
even if i have spend solitude alone
it is worth it

if u read this
i am happy being your friend
or even stranger
but my love for you wont change

i will be normal
no doubt
i will be happy
i wont be sad no more

cause i got you in my heart
that is all that matter
l love you unconditionally
i gave you my life if i have to

whether you return them or not
it doesn't matter anymore
i did it because i want to
i don't expect any return

love should be given without expecting
of any returns or any intention
i love you because i truly do
nothing more than that

i never forget all the promises
i will fulfilled them all
even if it doesnt matter anymore
even it dont bring you back anymore

it matters to me
because i love you
this is no unhealthy love
this is true love

god never expect any return from us
even if we continuously sin
his love stays the same
boundless and never-ending

i love him about anything in this world
but when comes to human relationship
i love you more than anything in this world
even above my life

what i say i already said here
i love you truly madly deeply
i would repeat it eternally if i have to
i dont expect you to stumble here

but this is how i wanna end the last piece
my one and only love poem to you
from the bottom of my heart
thank you for the relationship we had

i will cherish it for eternity
i will go on to become an excellent man
that will do justice to god
and i will be truly happy

so i say this here and now
it doesn't matter what happens between us
my love for you never fades away
it grow more each day

i will stand tall and be happy
because of my love for you
could never been taken away
cause i have really met my true love

Qi Yexin, i love you with all my heart
even if we never meet again
i will be okay because my love is there
i just wish you find true happiness and love in life even if it is not me.

The Month called September 065

The Month called September

Spring Arrives
Wow commences
Calvin's Sabbatical
Hot for Church
Darren Parents
Grandpa's Honda
New fridge
Awesome backpays
Reebok's revisited
Gold Rush once again
Love happens!!
All of God's grace in a month called September.

A point in my Life 064

A point in my Life

In life it's not how much you accomplish in what u had planned,
but rather be content and thankful with what u been given.
For all the achievements you gain meant nth but the passing wind,
only your relationship with the "Boss" matters the first and foremost.

Memento Mori 063

Memento Mori

Life & death
an inevitable cycle
where there is a beginning
there will be an end

from the day of their births
be it heirs of kings & queens
or peasants of the lot
they walk through the same path

no matter how mighty they become
or how wealthy they amassed
there are but mere mortals
threading on the wheel of time

remember dear mortals,
should you be too haughty
should you be too divine
death still awaits you

there is no running away
therefore be mindful
when you face your maker
all your actions be accounted for

remember you are but mortals
remember you are borned helpless
remember you will live and die
Memento Mori

The Nonchalant Spring Redux 062

The Nonchalant Spring Redux

Spring arrive
come what may
always so loving
so full of memories
let not wasted it away

time to create new memories
the vigour of spring
the vibrant colours
painting such scenery of serenity
how magnificent thou art is

surely it is such perfect delight
the myriad of flowers blooming
like an neverending grace
that lit our clouded heart
my life doesnt seem a waste

from winter to spring
the seasons have changed
desires that i bring
they remained unchanged
like it was just yesterday

spring, as beautiful as it is
it also as imaginary and cruel as it was
it came and it went
never lingering for long
never caring for much

oh, my nonchalant spring
come what may
let me see you again
short you may be
but i love you
till the very end of time......

The Man with the suitcase 061

The Man with the suitcase

As far as memory could serve
i was always in some place
but never at home
for that place doesnt exist

the word home....
is foreign to me
it does not exist
in my head or my dictionary

strangely i couldn't care less
it suits me better that way
for i wont be leaving anyone
i am just living by the suitcase

whenever it bring me there i shall be
do i ever for once remotely reconsidered?
i did have a naive thought once
but it backfire on me

maybe i am better in solitude
for i need no comfort, care or concern
much less comprehension of me
that's what core of me always scream

i needed no home
for i never had one to begin with
the compulsion to move is everpresent
although lately i am having doubts

Europe or Japan
was my scheduled destination
but i am still here
i am not very sure either

maybe i am clinging to something
in what human call hope
or i just dont want to run anymore
for i am feeling very weary

what does a man like me do
to settle myself to a place
i am not sure either
maybe is the thought of home

but i have no home
how does a home feel like?
i do care to know
i do yearn to know

as for now
i still stuck with the bed
and that annoying suitcase of mine
in what i called the image of "home".
i am afterall the man with suitcase